The Consciousness Fragmentation

Ever feel like there are times when, as inconceivable as it sounds, your brain separates consciousness from cognitive processes. When the brain divides all cranial activity into very distinct halves of the painfully analytic and unrestrained passion. This usually harmonious partnership flourishes unaided by the intentional effort applied by conscious thought, yet once every so often, one finds the two spiraling away in a ludicrous trajectile dichotomy. The catalyst in this unsavoury severance could be something as mundane as finding the toothpaste dried at the end because it was left uncapped, or finding the milk lumpy only after you've dribbled some over your cereal. I find that it's these seemingly inconsequential factors of this living exercise we're all unwittingly participating in that at some point or other trigger this brain cleaving segmentation which renders one incoherent for days at a time.

The Pursuit of Purpose

Purpose; that incandescent presence without which most of life seems inconsequential, that incessant need to feel important, that flighty imagined archetype from which all worth is measured. Not meaning to sound too morbid, but I just do not grasp the 'purpose' paradigm. Sure, we all love the euphoric kick of the endorphin induced deed-well-done, but today's society has blown this concept exponentially to include the most mundane of tasks in order to make everyone feel special. Mothers do it all the time with neutered nurturing propensities like congratulating their children on a mediocre job done to protect their fragile self-esteem thereby not letting them experience failure. All children participating in sporting activities get a trophy just for being part of the game (a game in which no score is kept) but is this 'everybody wins' attitude really what will produce successful leaders in the next generation of Ministers and Cabinet Officials we will have controlling our lives...?

The Slumber Polarisation

Have you ever found yourself finding that sleep escapes you no matter how hard you try to harness it...?
This was me in the early evening last night. I have been through an emotionally charged few days regarding my career projectory and I just needed to sleep. Being the early evening, sleep isn't the most automatic response your body has to being forced into a reclined position poised for slumber. I therefore resorted to playing some of the classical music I have accumulated, which theoretically should have worked because classical music is perceived to be soothing and relaxing, but this isn't quite the result. Instead of soothing and relaxing me, my brain found the classical music far too stimulating to induce sleep as I found myself going through maybe the subtle nuances of a flute whispering through a particularly charged passage in a symphony or the fervent bowing of a principal violinist solo. This reduced me to the stark realisation that I have no soothing music in the plethora of files stored in my laptop, an impossibility I had not foreseen because I never once thought that I would be in dire need to "soothe" myself. I guess this is when I try to find 'sleep' music, but surprisingly, I'm not too inclined to find it. I'm quite content to have my flighty symphonic works, if they don't help to put me to sleep (like what happened last night) I can always try the age-old recurrence of sleeping in silence.